ch-ch-ch-changes!

We are experiencing several changes at our house right now.  For one, yesterday we started the process of refinancing.  That's some fun stuff, let me tell you!  Actually, I am very thankful for a husband who is willing to figure all of that out and get the ball rolling.  I wouldn't get past the "thinking about it" stage!  Can you believe, though, by refinancing, we will be paying less per month for 15 years than we are right now for 30??  That's crazy!  I'd like to keep all that extra money, thank you!

David has also been working really hard to get the outside of our home looking decent.  We decided after 5 years of being here, we should probably repaint the windows, mulch the landscaping, trim the bushes, etc.  He's doing a great job!

Here's another change: my children are learning to be more self-sufficient.  Not necessarily because they want to, but because lately if they want something, they either have to be very patient or to get it themselves.  I simply have been too sick.  With "morning sickness", that is :-)

Sweet baby Julia helping her sick mommy with cleaning

A bit of a story goes with this one.

David's brother Jeff and his wife Courtney, along with David and myself, came up with this awesome plan.  We would hold off on any babies for about a year, so that we could take a trip to Florida next April and Courtney and I would be pregnant at the time.  We were pretty excited about it.

But God started placing all these "circumstances" in my path as He showed me that my plan (as usual) is not His.  I kept on hearing radio program after radio program that talked about babies.  Sanctity of life.  Women who wanted to be pregnant and couldn't do so.  And the list goes on.  It seemed like everytime I turned on my radio for at least a month's time, another of these programs would be on.

I was really struggling with this, wondering if it wasn't all part of God's plan for me to hear those programs.  Finally, at the end of March, I was really down about it and David could tell.  I finally explained to him what was going on, and he said he'd been having the same conviction that maybe our "baby plan" wasn't perfect.  We decided to see how God would work.

I got sick about a week later. 

I must have already been pregnant!  With Samuel, we were so new at everything - married less than a year when we found out we were expecting him.  With Julia, I was so full of resentment that I couldn't enjoy my pregnancy or even her as a baby for way too long.  With this one, I have peace. 

Here's the funny part.  The day after we got a positive test, Jeff and Courtney called.  They had the same story as us - becoming convicted about their plan and then getting pregnant right away after deciding to surrender to God's best for them!  We didn't tell them for 2 more weeks - that was pure torture!  I wanted to share with Courtney so badly my excitement for both of us, but we wanted to wait until we could tell them in person.  It was worth the wait!  And to think, we were both a bit nervous that the other would be upset for ruining the "plan"!

So here's the official announcement.  Baby #3 is due on or around December 11th, just about a week after my sister-in-law is due.  We couldn't be happier!

Which brings me to another change . . . adding a bedroom so we have a place for Baby to sleep!  I'm sure there will be plenty more posts on that subject!

Meat Bundling

Here is the newest addition to my freezer: Meat Bundle #5 from Fareway. 

David and I have tossed around the idea of purchasing a 1/4 beef or 1/2 hog for quite some time, because when I go to the store, the bulk of my cost is in meats.  One of the best things I've been able to do is look at online ads for each store that I'm going to in order to find which one has sales on what.  This has been espcially helpful with the cost of produce, simply because though couponing is nice, there is a lot of junk to be bought just with coupons. 

I've been amazed to find cabbage for 17c./lb, celery at 88c/pkg., broccoli at 99c/lb, etc.  I am enjoying the preparation of meals using fresh produce that I've found at a great price!  But still, the meat is so hard to find without getting the cheap stuff - bologna and hot dogs.  Overall, I have found better deals on higher quality meats at Fareway than any other place I've found.

After checking pricing and availability with several places, we decided that this time we would go with Fareway for our large meat purchase.  I am really excited because by getting the "bundle" rather than just beef or pork, I can make a variety of things using all different meats.

Here is what it included:

5# boneless chuck roast

5# ground beef

5# chicken hind quarters

5# boneless pork roast

5# boneless pork steak

3# bacon

2# ham

Ideally, our goal is to one day be able to have a self-sustaining farm.  David loves cattle, and we'd like to have a couple of pigs and chickens.  I'd like to have a larger space for a garden (this year, though, it will be my biggest yet so stay tuned for how it turns out!)  But for now, we'll take what we can.  I think overall we saved money, provided I don't start planning super meaty meals just because we have the meat! 

How about anyone else?  Do you buy meat bundles, parts of cows or pigs, etc? 

My Victory Over Fear

It was September 2011.  I was at a ladies' retreat with some church friends and it was getting late.  Should we go out by the fire, or just head to bed?  God was working already as we headed out to the fire to find several ladies laughing hysterically  - we decided to stay and see what was going on.

Wendy, a lady from our church, introduced us to her new friend Tricia, a tiny little lady with a huge sense of humor.  I was instantly drawn to her as she talked to us about her pastor-husband, her eight children, and her life in Minnesota.  I don't know how we got on the subject of fear, but Tricia began talking to us about how she used to plan routes out of the grocery store in order to avoid an invisible gunman who was after her.  Then she said how she used to fret while driving because a deer might come at her and his hoof might go through the windshield and kill her. 

My friend Amanda spoke up, "that sounds like something Emi would say!"  It was.  It was something I had struggled with many times; only with me, the whole deer would come through and behead everyone.  Isn't that terrible??  Tricia picked up on it right away, and we began a conversation that changed my life.

I don't know when my fear started - fear of everything, that is.  I know I was always afraid of the dark, and of too much quietness, and I always worried that I would be shot or that Jesus would come back in the rapture and leave me here all by myself.  It seems as if fear was always present in my life in one way or another.  But I do remember when it took over.

I really struggled with it during my pregnancy and the birth of our daughter.  I had a couple of weeks of what I would call "postpartum depression", and then the fear just crept up and was more present than ever before.  Most days I could go outside, but many of them, I would lock the door to the house so no one could get in and wait for me.  One day (and possibly more; I can't quite recall) I locked all the windows and doors, and I stayed inside watching suspiciously because I was sure that my neighbor's grandson was coming to kill us.  It sounds crazy, I know.  Then there were the nights, those endless nights where I checked the locks several times and just laid in my bed shaking until sleep finally took over the fear.  Last summer, David was working a second job that kept him out until midnight, or 2 a.m., or sometimes even until 5:00.  I was so incredibly afraid - if I was out anywhere, the kids and I would get home before dark fell and then I would stay up keeping vigil until David got home.  My fear was at an all-time high.

As I shared these things with Tricia, she assured me that I was not crazy.  That kind of fear is something that happens to "normal" people.  And she told me she had been one of them.  Then she shared something that I could hardly wrap my mind around.  When Tricia was 27, she was up all night keeping vigil as I had done so many times, and at that time God laid so many verses on her heart as she poured out all hear anxieties to Him, she was up for hours just reading His Word.  He took all that fear away.  ALL of it.  And it has never come back! 

I wanted so desperately for God to take that fear away, but I wasn't sure where to begin.  Tricia shared some verses with me.  The one that stuck the most was this.  Proverbs 3:25 says, "Do not be afraid of sudden fear nor of the onslaught of the wicked when it comes;" and verse 26 goes on to say, "For the Lord will be your confidence ..." !!  It took me a bit to grasp what the verse was saying, but it is clearly saying that I do not need to have guilt for the fear that may come, because fear is to be expected.  It is going to show up - the verse says when it comes, not if.  But it is what I do with that fear that causes it either to stay and to fester and grow, or to be taken away! 

What I am not saying is that God is some sort of genie in a bottle Who just shows up when you need Him and then doesn't "bother" you.  What I am saying is that He has power.  He has power over Satan and his tactics of fear.  He has power in my life and will conquer the fear when it comes.  I am so thankful to say that I, too, have experienced a complete change in my life.  No longer am I afraid to step outside, or to leave my back door open while we're playing in the yard.  No longer do I lay awake at night in fear of a break-in. When I gave my life to Christ as a young child, His Spirit came into me and He dwells in me today.  When the fear shows up, I immediately give it over to Him and God gives me "peace that passes understanding" (Phil. 4:7).

What about you?  First, have you given your life to Christ and acknowledged that He alone can forgive your sin?  Have you trusted that Jesus had you in mind when He died on the cross?  That cross, that life of Christ, that power of God . . . that is what has and will always have the victory over Satan, over sin, over fear.  I am so thankful for God's great grace and pray that you, too, can experience victory over fear! 

For further consideration:
Karen Loritts speaks on fear - this is a broadcast from Family Life Today.  I have linked to part one, but you can find part two from here as well. 

Victory Over Violence - this is an ebook that was actually written by Tricia, the lady God prompted to speak with me about my fear last fall.  She writes this book in a down-to-earth way that makes for a great weekend read.  In it you will find many scriptures in addition to those listed below.

Verses to meditate upon:
Phil. 4:6-7 - Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 1 John 4:18 - Perfect love casts out fear . . . (God is love, and love is the opposite of fear!)

John 14:27 - Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you.  Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful. 

Samuel

I know it has been quite some time since I have posted.  You see, I have this post in my head that I've been working on for weeks now.  I just haven't found the time to write it yet.  And now that I have a few minutes to do so, David has the book from which I wanted to quote! 

It's okay, though.  There will be another day for that.  Today is the day before Samuel's 3rd birthday, so I thought I'd take the time to reflect upon that day three years ago when we welcomed our first baby into the world and our life.

I wasn't due until April 10th, 2009, and everyone always says you go late with the first baby.  I had no reason to think that the 7th would be the day.  I got up and went to work at Star Drug as usual, working a 6-hour day as I had been doing since the end of March.  But that day, I knew something was different; I just wasn't sure what that was.  Looking back, I do remember the feeling that the baby was going to fall out every time I walked!  (Possibly gross part alert here!!)  I lost my mucus plug right before lunch, but I asked the girls in the pharmacy and they said that could happen up to two weeks before the baby was born.

I drove over to David's work as I often did over my lunch hour and asked him to get into the car.  "Something is happening."  I told him.  I still didn't believe that it was actually labor, though.  He insisted that I call Labor and Delivery and ask them what to do.  I don't like doing that kind of thing, and to be honest, I was embarrassed to call and just tell someone that "something was different but I don't know what"!  He told them what had happened and the nurse assured him that it could still be a week or two before the baby came.  Then she asked to talk to me and told me that I should probably go home and relax.

I certainly wasn't going to waste a good day, though!  I think I was in the restroom more than I worked that afternoon - I thought that I was constipated.  I have talked to many moms since then who have thought the same thing during labor.  I finished working at 2:30, and my friend Amanda had asked me to stay at her house during her kids' naptime, so I went ahead and did that.  Thankfully the kids stayed asleep - I would not have been a very good babysitter if they'd needed anything!  I laid on the couch for a couple of hours and watched "The Cosby Show" until Amanda's husband Trent came home.  I felt terrible by then, and couldn't wait to get home to my bed; unfortunately my demeanor showed that and it appeared as though I just wanted to get away from Trent :-) 

At home, I made supper as usual, and then headed for the bed.  David was very insistent that we go to the hospital, but I was not about to make a fool of myself and be sent home.  After all, I had an OB appointment the next day!  We ended up calling the hospital a couple of more times, and both times the nurse said no, she didn't think it was labor, and that I should stay at home.  Finally, at about 9:30 the night of the 7th, David coaxed me into the car telling me that we would go to the hospital, get a stool softener, and come home.  I reluctantly went along . . . and by the time we got to the hospital, my "constipation pains" were 2 minutes apart. 

We found out why the nurse had been so quick to tell me to stay home.  She was a very unpleasant lady who clearly did not want to be there.  Not only was she just plain unfriendly, she put the band on my tummy and told me that she couldn't find the baby's heartbeat.  FYI, that is not something that you tell a mom who's ready to give birth!  I told her that she had put the monitor on the wrong side and that I could see the baby's head on the other side.  She didn't believe me until David came into the room and told her the same thing, and sure enough, there it was.  We were so thankful to learn that she was at the end of her shift and that she was leaving a few minutes later.

Since I had been convinced that I wasn't in labor, I would not allow David to call either of our parents until we were in the hospital.  It was 10:15 when we got there, and I was dilated to 6 cm.  Dr. Wenzel, who I absolutely adore, just "happened" to be on call that night - thank you, God!!  It was one of my main concerns that she would be the one to deliver the baby.  At the point where they decided to move me into the delivery room, she was already on her way to deliver another baby of a mom who was on her third child and "goes fast", according to the staff. 

They broke my water and the contractions came so strongly, I changed my mind about the whole "natural" birth thing without an epidural, and I begged for one.  But it was too late.  I was dilated to a 9 and thing were progressing very quickly.  Dr. Wenzel flew into the room just as I was pushing, and Samuel was born at 11:35 that night - quite some time before the lady in the next room, for whom Dr. Wenzel had actually come.  I was in shock.  After all, hadn't I just come in as an obligation to my husband?!

I am in awe as I look back on the experience of our first baby's birth.  God showed Himself in control and mighty.  All of my fears, all of the unknowns that come with a first baby, were taken care of.  As I already mentioned, my own doctor was able to deliver (in fact, she has delivered both of my babies!).  I didn't have to have an epidural, as I had so often prayed I wouldn't have to do.  I didn't have to go through hours at the hospital or be sent home. 

I can't believe it has been three years since Samuel was born - the memories are so clear, as if it only happened last week.  I am so thankful for the beautiful son that God has given us.  For his great sense of humor, for his tender heart, for his love of learning.  I'm thankful that he wants to be just like his daddy, and I pray that he is. 

And most of all, I pray that he comes to know Jesus as his Savior at an early age.  I never fully understood the love of a parent  for a child - the love that God had even as He sent His only Son to die in place of my sins and yours - until I had Samuel.  What a gift He gave us!

Happy Easter as we celebrate Christ's resurrection, and Happy 3rd Birthday to my sweet son!