We were invited to a party. I was so excited to go! I thought about it, planned my food, and played how it would go in my mind for weeks.
Then I found out who else had been invited. What originally was going to be a fun evening with friends turned into a dreaded event, simply because of one person who was going to attend. It was a man who takes every opportunity to share with others just how smart he really is, to the point that I don't like being around him because, well, I just get tired of hearing it!
I went, and I really tried to enjoy myself, because it was a great party, but the guy was relentless. Every time we played a game, he interjected with facts and quotes. Every time one person talked, he had to rebut.
In all honesty, after only an hour I was seething with anger and was ready to leave. I was also ready to jump in this guy's face and give him a piece of my mind, telling him just how much I don't care about what he read, or heard, or surmised based on who-knows-what.
But then it hit me. I do that. Oh, I may not do it on such a large scale. I may not interrupt conversations with my "knowledge". But I definitely like to get a word in more often than not.
How many times do I give unsolicited advice about parenting? Or share with other ladies the "correct" way to make cookies? How many people do I tell for no particular reason all the places I've visited and all the people I've met?
This has me thinking, and has been a huge area of concern and study since that party. I do believe God created us (some, more than others, maybe) to desire to learn, study, travel, etc. So, if knowledge itself isn't wrong, then what is? What about it is making me cringe?
It is the attitude behind it. It's the heart, the motivation.
Why do I seek knowledge? Is it so I can show off when a subject comes up? So I can move up the ladder in a social circle or at work? Or is it because God has created me to love learning, and because I desire to seek truth?
We've been studying from 1 Corinthians in Sunday School, and I am struck by how relevant so much of what Paul says in this letter is to my conviction on this subject.
1 Corinthians 1:20b says, "Has not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?" and verse 25 says, "...the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men." I know he's not necessarily referring to knowledge, and the sharing of knowledge. But can't anything that is gained out of a wrong motive be foolishness?
1 Corinthians 1:27 goes on to say, "but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the strong ..." meaning that to those of us who think we are wise (i.e. sharing knowledge to make myself look good, or to appear strong) are put to shame by the ones we think look foolish. (A good example is my very humble husband, who knows a whole lot more than he lets on but is so moldable and usable by God because of it).
And Proverbs 18:2 says, "A fool does not delight in understanding, but only in revealing his own mind." How very convicting!
When is it okay to share knowledge? There are plenty of times - if my heart is right.
1 Corinthians 1:31 "... just as it is written, 'Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord.'"
It is my prayer that everything that I say and do would be pleasing to God, to edify others, and to bring others to a saving (HEART!) knowledge of Christ.
If it's to make me look good, I pray that I think twice before it's said ... and may I treat others with grace who have not yet understood the importance of humility in this circumstance, praying that they learn to boast only in God!
Showing posts with label honoring God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label honoring God. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Friday, June 14, 2013
A Big Decision
Ohhh, the mysterious ways of our all-knowing God!
Last weekend was long and emotional as David and I felt we were wrestling with God's will for our future. It's kind of a long story, but all in all, we prayed and sought counsel and came to the conclusion that our God is not a God of confusion. As I alluded to in my last update, we seemed to be met with nothing but confusion throughout our buying process. We also feel we've had a real wake-up call in regards to taking care of our family's needs and being very wise in our spending, as we've had two friends unexpectedly die, leaving a wife and children, within the past four months. It has made us take a second look at making the most of what we have - time, money, and resources.
On Monday we signed a rescission form releasing us from all responsibilities and obligatins we had made to the house we had been planning to buy for the last two months. We thought we'd be heartbroken, but instead we both have complete peace with it, and our parents agree that it was the best decision.
We covet your prayers, friends, as we contemplate our next steps. Thank you to all of you who've followed our progress through our move, for all of the prayers and encouraging words thus far. I will continue to update as we seek God's wisdom for the placement of our family!
Last weekend was long and emotional as David and I felt we were wrestling with God's will for our future. It's kind of a long story, but all in all, we prayed and sought counsel and came to the conclusion that our God is not a God of confusion. As I alluded to in my last update, we seemed to be met with nothing but confusion throughout our buying process. We also feel we've had a real wake-up call in regards to taking care of our family's needs and being very wise in our spending, as we've had two friends unexpectedly die, leaving a wife and children, within the past four months. It has made us take a second look at making the most of what we have - time, money, and resources.
On Monday we signed a rescission form releasing us from all responsibilities and obligatins we had made to the house we had been planning to buy for the last two months. We thought we'd be heartbroken, but instead we both have complete peace with it, and our parents agree that it was the best decision.
We covet your prayers, friends, as we contemplate our next steps. Thank you to all of you who've followed our progress through our move, for all of the prayers and encouraging words thus far. I will continue to update as we seek God's wisdom for the placement of our family!
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
While We Waited . . .
Remember last week's post?
I am utterly amazed at God's goodness and His perfection. I wrote that post in the early afternoon last Wednesday. Shortly after, I checked craigslist just to see what was out there, and I saw that there was an acreage for sale by owner.
We called the homeowner at 4:00 that afternoon and went to see it at about 5:30. The moment we walked in the door, everything became clear - this was without a doubt where God has had us all along. Not only is the house everything we need, but God has provided us with many of our "wants" as well. All new appliances, a master bathroom, a heated garage, 2 acres in a very ideal location . . . and the list goes on.
We signed an agreement on Friday, and are currently in the process of buying this house. What's also neat is that the homeowners were unexpectedly called by their church to move to New Mexico and are en route even as I write, so having the house sold was a huge blessing to them. We actually felt as though if they were to stick around the area, we might have become friends.
I'm sure there will be many pictures and further explanation to follow as we begin moving and settling in to this beautiful home. For now, I just wanted to update everyone on the perfect timing of God and His provision while we were waiting!
Throughout this whole process of moving, we have clung to Proverbs 16:9 - "The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." How thankful we are!
I am utterly amazed at God's goodness and His perfection. I wrote that post in the early afternoon last Wednesday. Shortly after, I checked craigslist just to see what was out there, and I saw that there was an acreage for sale by owner.
We called the homeowner at 4:00 that afternoon and went to see it at about 5:30. The moment we walked in the door, everything became clear - this was without a doubt where God has had us all along. Not only is the house everything we need, but God has provided us with many of our "wants" as well. All new appliances, a master bathroom, a heated garage, 2 acres in a very ideal location . . . and the list goes on.
We signed an agreement on Friday, and are currently in the process of buying this house. What's also neat is that the homeowners were unexpectedly called by their church to move to New Mexico and are en route even as I write, so having the house sold was a huge blessing to them. We actually felt as though if they were to stick around the area, we might have become friends.
I'm sure there will be many pictures and further explanation to follow as we begin moving and settling in to this beautiful home. For now, I just wanted to update everyone on the perfect timing of God and His provision while we were waiting!
Throughout this whole process of moving, we have clung to Proverbs 16:9 - "The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." How thankful we are!
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
While We're Waiting
Do you ever ask God what He's doing? Or why He's doing it?
What a roller coaster we have been on lately, all while wondering, "God, what are you doing??" As most of you probably know, we felt God's leading of our family away from our home of 5 years and back to David's hometown in late September last year. And boy, has it been a roller coaster of emotions and experiences ever since!
We moved over here December 30 - Rachel's 2-week birthday - and have been living with David's parents ever since. We've been keeping our eyes open for places to live all along; since our ultimate goal is to move to a family farm, we've also been hoping to rent for cheap or to find a home that we could purchase for very little so we could continue to build a savings.
Last weekend, we made the big decision to go ahead and buy a home, so we contacted or agent and she showed us several places in our price range. To make a long story short, by Saturday noon we had found a home in town that we loved . . . and we found a rental house in the country that would be well under our budget.
For the past several days, it has really seemed like all signs were pointing toward us getting the rental. We started preparing for that particular house, and making plans to paint and move within the next month. We kind of convinced ourselves that we shouldn't buy the house in town, and that God has had this rental for us all along. The timing and events were just too perfectly aligned.
Today David got a shocking phone call. The rental has gone to someone else.
So, God, what are you up to? We're just not sure.
I am reminded of a song by John Waller -
While I'm Waiting
But instead, we see this as a reminder (and we had forgotten) that God is truly working in His timing. He will provide how and when He sees fit, just as He always has.
Until then, we will wait, and pray, and just keep running the race!
What a roller coaster we have been on lately, all while wondering, "God, what are you doing??" As most of you probably know, we felt God's leading of our family away from our home of 5 years and back to David's hometown in late September last year. And boy, has it been a roller coaster of emotions and experiences ever since!
We moved over here December 30 - Rachel's 2-week birthday - and have been living with David's parents ever since. We've been keeping our eyes open for places to live all along; since our ultimate goal is to move to a family farm, we've also been hoping to rent for cheap or to find a home that we could purchase for very little so we could continue to build a savings.
Last weekend, we made the big decision to go ahead and buy a home, so we contacted or agent and she showed us several places in our price range. To make a long story short, by Saturday noon we had found a home in town that we loved . . . and we found a rental house in the country that would be well under our budget.
For the past several days, it has really seemed like all signs were pointing toward us getting the rental. We started preparing for that particular house, and making plans to paint and move within the next month. We kind of convinced ourselves that we shouldn't buy the house in town, and that God has had this rental for us all along. The timing and events were just too perfectly aligned.
Today David got a shocking phone call. The rental has gone to someone else.
So, God, what are you up to? We're just not sure.
I am reminded of a song by John Waller -
While I'm Waiting
I'm waiting, I'm waiting on you, Lord,
And I am hopeful, I'm waiting on you, Lord
Though it is painful, but patiently, I will wait.
I will move ahead bold and confident
I'll be taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting, I will serve you
While I'm waiting, I will worship
While I'm waiting, I will not faint
I'll be running the race even while I wait
I'm waiting, I'm waiting on you, Lord
And I am peaceful, I'm waiting on you, Lord
Though it's not easy, but faithfully, I will wait
I will serve you while I'm waiting,
I will worship while I'm waiting on you, LordIt is easy to feel discouraged, like we had built ourselves up for nothing. My tendency is to sit and stew about why my own plans didn't work out, and worry about whether we'll ever have our own house again.
But instead, we see this as a reminder (and we had forgotten) that God is truly working in His timing. He will provide how and when He sees fit, just as He always has.
Until then, we will wait, and pray, and just keep running the race!
Monday, November 5, 2012
Hello, facebook . . . with limits!
Well, I'm at the end of my official facebook sabbatical. I have to admit, I did log on about 4 times, for maybe 5 minutes each, during the month I took off. But in my defense . . . a few of my friends from college were having babies and I just had to check on them!!
To describe the break from facebook, I think I can sum it up in one word: "refreshing".
I knew that facebook had become an idol of sorts to me, but I really didn't have any idea of the extent until I stopped logging on altogether. I still can't believe the amount of time I was spending on the computer and on the Kindle Fire in contrast to the time with my children as well as doing other, more constructive, activities!
Here are a few of the things I got done in the past month that I truly believe wouldn't have happened if I'd spent my normal amount of time on facebook.
*I read books to the kids. And read, and read, and read. Literature has been such a huge part of my life, and I have so enjoyed sharing that with Samuel and Julia. I even set aside a half hour each day after laying Julia down to read more informative, "older" books to Samuel. He absolutely ate them up - all the knowledge, entertainment, imagination, and ideas in each book. It has also been absolutely precious time spent just sitting together on the couch with my quickly-growing 3-year-old that I never would have had because I was always itching to put him to bed and check on everyone else's kids via facebook.
*I spent more time in God's Word. Oh, sure, I did okay before. But once again, I'd rush through any quiet time with God that I may have had so that I could log on to facebook for as much time as possible. But this past month, I was able to truly spend and enjoy that time that I need reading my Bible, studying, and praying.
*The kids and I spent more time outside on walks, playing in the yard, and enjoying parks nearby.
*The house stayed cleaner. I didn't think it'd make a difference, but it certainly did! I wasn't rushing to get one thing done and doing it half-heartedly, but rather spent all the time I needed really cleaning.
*I read a whole bunch of books! As I mentioned earlier, literature has been a huge part of my life, but I just wasn't finding the time to read over the past several months. I think I read about 6 books during the past month, and it was great!
Those things alone made it worth it to take a break from facebook. And now that I'm back on, I've found that if I'm on for 15 minutes, I quickly log off and feel at least somewhat guilty, wondering all the things I may have rather done during those past minutes.
What is fun is being able to continue to see progress with friends as facebook is the primary means for keeping up with people in other towns. So these past few days (and I haven't been on every single day, just a couple), I've just quickly scrolled through the news feed and checked on a few friends specifically who I knew may have changes or may have posted pictures recently.
It is definitely refreshing not to feel so attached. I can see how that could easily become a habit once again, so we've moved our computer back upstairs to the office and out of our living room. I also put up the Kindle Fire and am considering sending it to work with David to prevent me from picking it up on a whim and getting "stuck".
I hope that anyone else who feels he or she might be spending too much time on facebook would consider taking a break. Even after a week, I felt so much less dependent - a month just solidified it for me!
A quick update on other events in our life:
David will be starting his new job working for his dad December 31st. We will be moving in with my in-laws for the time being until we put more of a dent in our student loans and find a place to live.
We are negotiating the sale of our home here, so if our praying friends would oblige, please pray that we could sell it for enough to pay off the mortgage and have a little extra!
The baby is due in 6 weeks. She has finally moved out of my ribs and is sitting much lower, so I am not experiencing so much pain from that at least!
We are continuing to trust God for each step and though it is bittersweet right now, thinking of leaving here after 5 years, we are very excited to see what He has for our family in the future!
To describe the break from facebook, I think I can sum it up in one word: "refreshing".
I knew that facebook had become an idol of sorts to me, but I really didn't have any idea of the extent until I stopped logging on altogether. I still can't believe the amount of time I was spending on the computer and on the Kindle Fire in contrast to the time with my children as well as doing other, more constructive, activities!
Here are a few of the things I got done in the past month that I truly believe wouldn't have happened if I'd spent my normal amount of time on facebook.
*I read books to the kids. And read, and read, and read. Literature has been such a huge part of my life, and I have so enjoyed sharing that with Samuel and Julia. I even set aside a half hour each day after laying Julia down to read more informative, "older" books to Samuel. He absolutely ate them up - all the knowledge, entertainment, imagination, and ideas in each book. It has also been absolutely precious time spent just sitting together on the couch with my quickly-growing 3-year-old that I never would have had because I was always itching to put him to bed and check on everyone else's kids via facebook.
*I spent more time in God's Word. Oh, sure, I did okay before. But once again, I'd rush through any quiet time with God that I may have had so that I could log on to facebook for as much time as possible. But this past month, I was able to truly spend and enjoy that time that I need reading my Bible, studying, and praying.
*The kids and I spent more time outside on walks, playing in the yard, and enjoying parks nearby.
*The house stayed cleaner. I didn't think it'd make a difference, but it certainly did! I wasn't rushing to get one thing done and doing it half-heartedly, but rather spent all the time I needed really cleaning.
*I read a whole bunch of books! As I mentioned earlier, literature has been a huge part of my life, but I just wasn't finding the time to read over the past several months. I think I read about 6 books during the past month, and it was great!
Those things alone made it worth it to take a break from facebook. And now that I'm back on, I've found that if I'm on for 15 minutes, I quickly log off and feel at least somewhat guilty, wondering all the things I may have rather done during those past minutes.
What is fun is being able to continue to see progress with friends as facebook is the primary means for keeping up with people in other towns. So these past few days (and I haven't been on every single day, just a couple), I've just quickly scrolled through the news feed and checked on a few friends specifically who I knew may have changes or may have posted pictures recently.
It is definitely refreshing not to feel so attached. I can see how that could easily become a habit once again, so we've moved our computer back upstairs to the office and out of our living room. I also put up the Kindle Fire and am considering sending it to work with David to prevent me from picking it up on a whim and getting "stuck".
I hope that anyone else who feels he or she might be spending too much time on facebook would consider taking a break. Even after a week, I felt so much less dependent - a month just solidified it for me!
A quick update on other events in our life:
David will be starting his new job working for his dad December 31st. We will be moving in with my in-laws for the time being until we put more of a dent in our student loans and find a place to live.
We are negotiating the sale of our home here, so if our praying friends would oblige, please pray that we could sell it for enough to pay off the mortgage and have a little extra!
The baby is due in 6 weeks. She has finally moved out of my ribs and is sitting much lower, so I am not experiencing so much pain from that at least!
We are continuing to trust God for each step and though it is bittersweet right now, thinking of leaving here after 5 years, we are very excited to see what He has for our family in the future!
Monday, October 15, 2012
Blessed :-)
I had a really rough start to the morning. I couldn't get out of bed. I woke up tired.
Tried to reschedule a dentist appointment and they told me they were going to charge me more than double what I paid to actually go to the appointment.
I had planned to get groceries and was ready to walk out the door when I found out the dentist rescheduling was not an option.
I called a friend to ask her to babysit and could barely get out the words because I was crying so hard.
And so it went.
I called David (crying once again, of course . . . that's how I roll these days). He told me exactly what I didn't want to hear: "It's not that big of a deal. God is good. You are blessed."
Are you kidding me?? I wanted to wallow in self-pity all day!
Then I prayed and asked God to help me see things in perspective.
I got a really good night of sleep last night. I only woke up tired because, well, it's Monday.
I was forced to go to the dentist instead of rescheduling all the time. I hadn't been there in three years. My teeth are sparkly again, and I don't have to worry about going again now for awhile.
It's okay that we didn't get groceries today. We're going to eat supper with friends tonight anyway, so I don't have to scrounge around to find something to feed my family.
My friend was gracious and told me she'd be over to babysit. She even came half an hour early so we got time to chat, and she gave me a couple of much-needed hugs. She told me it was okay that I called crying, and even thanked me for trusting her enough to cry to her. After she left, I realized, she'd folded my laundry.
What's more . . . since I didn't grocery shop today, my house is clean. My kitchen is shiny and the living room is vacuumed. The kids have clean sheets on their beds. I finally arranged the pumpkins on our front steps to display instead of keeping them in a heap inside. I had time to talk to my mom, to do my Bible study, and to visit with David - and the kids are still sleeping.
It is a beautiful fall day today. I am truly blessed.
Happy Monday, everyone!
Tried to reschedule a dentist appointment and they told me they were going to charge me more than double what I paid to actually go to the appointment.
I had planned to get groceries and was ready to walk out the door when I found out the dentist rescheduling was not an option.
I called a friend to ask her to babysit and could barely get out the words because I was crying so hard.
And so it went.
I called David (crying once again, of course . . . that's how I roll these days). He told me exactly what I didn't want to hear: "It's not that big of a deal. God is good. You are blessed."
Are you kidding me?? I wanted to wallow in self-pity all day!
Then I prayed and asked God to help me see things in perspective.
I got a really good night of sleep last night. I only woke up tired because, well, it's Monday.
I was forced to go to the dentist instead of rescheduling all the time. I hadn't been there in three years. My teeth are sparkly again, and I don't have to worry about going again now for awhile.
It's okay that we didn't get groceries today. We're going to eat supper with friends tonight anyway, so I don't have to scrounge around to find something to feed my family.
My friend was gracious and told me she'd be over to babysit. She even came half an hour early so we got time to chat, and she gave me a couple of much-needed hugs. She told me it was okay that I called crying, and even thanked me for trusting her enough to cry to her. After she left, I realized, she'd folded my laundry.
What's more . . . since I didn't grocery shop today, my house is clean. My kitchen is shiny and the living room is vacuumed. The kids have clean sheets on their beds. I finally arranged the pumpkins on our front steps to display instead of keeping them in a heap inside. I had time to talk to my mom, to do my Bible study, and to visit with David - and the kids are still sleeping.
It is a beautiful fall day today. I am truly blessed.
Happy Monday, everyone!
Monday, October 1, 2012
See ya later, facebook!
I wish I had been more faithful in this blog. Maybe someday I will be. But obviously the past couple of months have not been the time for it.
Things could not have been crazier around here! We've been so busy chasing around 2 toddlers. David spent a little over a month doing chores for a friend which meant he was gone about 14 hours a day, and we spent a lot of time out on the farm with him enjoying the land and the animals. We have an exchange student from Serbia living with us who's been here since August. We are starting to prepare for the addition of our baby in about 2 months or so.
I thought I had it all under control; that I was able to be super mom. But last week, I found out I'm not. Not even close. All of the sudden, all the busyness of life came crashing down around me. In addition to the things I already listed, David and I are suddenly facing several pretty big decisions regarding our future. And my small, futile mind could not handle it.
On Thursday I started feeling really overwhelmed, but I thought I could still live with it and get by. David called a friend to help out for a couple of hours so I could spend time with him, without the kids, and I really enjoyed riding in the semi while he delivered beans to a local co-op. I thought maybe things would be okay.
By Friday, though, it was too much. That was when I realized (and I'm so thankful that I did) that I'm not the super mom I thought I was. I needed some time off. I am incredibly grateful to so many - first of all, that God prompted me and gave me the grace and humility to be able to make a phone call to David I never thought I'd have to make. Then, to my sweet husband David, who made several arrangements throughout the day on Friday so that I could have a weekend off. I was so relieved that no one laughed, or made any rude remarks, but just said, "I understand", and took the children for the weekend.
I spent all of Saturday relaxing and reading the promises of God through Scripture, and praying that He would make my mind clear and my paths straight. David suggested I meditate on Psalm 86, which was a huge blessing.
I was greatly encouraged by Psalm 86:4-5 which says, "Make glad the soul of Your servant, for to You, O Lord, I lift up my soul. For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, and abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon You."
I was convicted that it is not my job to try and figure out my future path, or to worry about all the things around me, but rather that I need to focus on each step. God has promised to be a "lamp unto my feet", which to me is very clear . . . He's not planning to light the whole way, but He will always shine a lamp bright enough that I can see the very next step I must take, each and every moment of every day.
Here is where I come to the explanation of my title. After much prayer and reflection on the past couple of months, and after talking to David, I have decided that I am going to take a break from facebook.
On Saturday night at our Bible study, I heard a great definition of worry; the speaker said that worry is "assuming a responsibility that God never intended for me to assume". And that's a lot of what I've been doing.
Oh, I do so enjoy and appreciate keeping up with so many college friends and people from my hometown via facebook. And I care so very much about each one. But I've noticed that a lot of days, things will start off great and I'll get a lot done . . . until I sit down to look at facebook. I become consumed with others' lives, and before I know it, I've been scrolling through profiles for an hour or two while my children beg me to play with them or while they just watch tv.
My hope is that by taking a break, I will really be able to focus on the things that God has placed before me, such as my children, taking care of my home, and enjoying His creation. I really want to be able to get things done organizationally, spend more time reading my Bible, take my kids for walks more or to the park, and even taking naps in the last few weeks of this pregnancy.
To all of my friends with whom I communicate often via facebook, please don't think I don't care if you don't hear from me for awhile! If you would like to share something, I would appreciate a phone call, a text, or an e-mail (though I'm hoping to limit e-mail use as well; I will still probably check at least a few times per week).
My goal is to be able to use facebook responsibly beginning in November. Until then, starting tomorrow morning, I'm saying, "See ya later, facebook!"
Things could not have been crazier around here! We've been so busy chasing around 2 toddlers. David spent a little over a month doing chores for a friend which meant he was gone about 14 hours a day, and we spent a lot of time out on the farm with him enjoying the land and the animals. We have an exchange student from Serbia living with us who's been here since August. We are starting to prepare for the addition of our baby in about 2 months or so.
I thought I had it all under control; that I was able to be super mom. But last week, I found out I'm not. Not even close. All of the sudden, all the busyness of life came crashing down around me. In addition to the things I already listed, David and I are suddenly facing several pretty big decisions regarding our future. And my small, futile mind could not handle it.
On Thursday I started feeling really overwhelmed, but I thought I could still live with it and get by. David called a friend to help out for a couple of hours so I could spend time with him, without the kids, and I really enjoyed riding in the semi while he delivered beans to a local co-op. I thought maybe things would be okay.
By Friday, though, it was too much. That was when I realized (and I'm so thankful that I did) that I'm not the super mom I thought I was. I needed some time off. I am incredibly grateful to so many - first of all, that God prompted me and gave me the grace and humility to be able to make a phone call to David I never thought I'd have to make. Then, to my sweet husband David, who made several arrangements throughout the day on Friday so that I could have a weekend off. I was so relieved that no one laughed, or made any rude remarks, but just said, "I understand", and took the children for the weekend.
I spent all of Saturday relaxing and reading the promises of God through Scripture, and praying that He would make my mind clear and my paths straight. David suggested I meditate on Psalm 86, which was a huge blessing.
I was greatly encouraged by Psalm 86:4-5 which says, "Make glad the soul of Your servant, for to You, O Lord, I lift up my soul. For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, and abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon You."
I was convicted that it is not my job to try and figure out my future path, or to worry about all the things around me, but rather that I need to focus on each step. God has promised to be a "lamp unto my feet", which to me is very clear . . . He's not planning to light the whole way, but He will always shine a lamp bright enough that I can see the very next step I must take, each and every moment of every day.
Here is where I come to the explanation of my title. After much prayer and reflection on the past couple of months, and after talking to David, I have decided that I am going to take a break from facebook.
On Saturday night at our Bible study, I heard a great definition of worry; the speaker said that worry is "assuming a responsibility that God never intended for me to assume". And that's a lot of what I've been doing.
Oh, I do so enjoy and appreciate keeping up with so many college friends and people from my hometown via facebook. And I care so very much about each one. But I've noticed that a lot of days, things will start off great and I'll get a lot done . . . until I sit down to look at facebook. I become consumed with others' lives, and before I know it, I've been scrolling through profiles for an hour or two while my children beg me to play with them or while they just watch tv.
My hope is that by taking a break, I will really be able to focus on the things that God has placed before me, such as my children, taking care of my home, and enjoying His creation. I really want to be able to get things done organizationally, spend more time reading my Bible, take my kids for walks more or to the park, and even taking naps in the last few weeks of this pregnancy.
To all of my friends with whom I communicate often via facebook, please don't think I don't care if you don't hear from me for awhile! If you would like to share something, I would appreciate a phone call, a text, or an e-mail (though I'm hoping to limit e-mail use as well; I will still probably check at least a few times per week).
My goal is to be able to use facebook responsibly beginning in November. Until then, starting tomorrow morning, I'm saying, "See ya later, facebook!"
Friday, June 29, 2012
Love Overflowing and a Heavy Heart
Though I am healthy, as are my husband and children, and as I write, we are happily preparing our home to hold yet another family member, my heart is heavy.
There is a family I know of who just 2 weeks ago was in a similar situation as our family, happily preparing for the birth of a new baby. I don't know all the details of their life. I don't even personally know the family. I do recognize them as having attended the same college as David and I did at some point. A mutual college friend of ours recently posted pictures that she had taken of this family, the Halls. I looked through the photos and thought, "what a beautiful family!" as four small children gathered around their daddy and quite-pregnant mommy.
Then, early this week, I saw another facebook posting regarding the Hall family. They took their youngest, Taylor, in for a routine 18-month check at the doctor. The doctor found some sort of mass and sent them on to find out what was going on. What they originally thought was a non-cancerous mass on the liver turned out to be a cancerous, growing tumor in Taylor's abdomen, very near her spine.
The family, of course, is shocked. How could this all happen in just the course of maybe a week? I think of the Hall family often and pray for them, and cry many, many tears for them. The mom, Julie, is due with their 5th baby in about 6 weeks.
I know this family is questioning how this could happen so quickly, but I also know their foundation is in Jesus Christ. While they are sincerely suffering, they trust an all-knowing God. What a testimony.
My children are downstairs right now, running like crazy around their dad. They are healthy. They are rambunctious. And lately, I've gotten terribly annoyed with them. But hearing a story such as the Halls' makes me take a step back and sincerely thank God for every moment that I have to hold the babies He has given to me, and even to chase them around and clean up their messes.
Won't you take time today to do the same? Will you thank God that He has given you this day to love your child or another family member that you often take for granted? And will you join with me in prayer for the Hall family - Randy, Julie, little Taylor, her 3 older siblings, and this baby on the way?
If you are interested in following prayer updates for this family, click here to follow them on facebook.
There is a family I know of who just 2 weeks ago was in a similar situation as our family, happily preparing for the birth of a new baby. I don't know all the details of their life. I don't even personally know the family. I do recognize them as having attended the same college as David and I did at some point. A mutual college friend of ours recently posted pictures that she had taken of this family, the Halls. I looked through the photos and thought, "what a beautiful family!" as four small children gathered around their daddy and quite-pregnant mommy.
Then, early this week, I saw another facebook posting regarding the Hall family. They took their youngest, Taylor, in for a routine 18-month check at the doctor. The doctor found some sort of mass and sent them on to find out what was going on. What they originally thought was a non-cancerous mass on the liver turned out to be a cancerous, growing tumor in Taylor's abdomen, very near her spine.
The family, of course, is shocked. How could this all happen in just the course of maybe a week? I think of the Hall family often and pray for them, and cry many, many tears for them. The mom, Julie, is due with their 5th baby in about 6 weeks.
I know this family is questioning how this could happen so quickly, but I also know their foundation is in Jesus Christ. While they are sincerely suffering, they trust an all-knowing God. What a testimony.
My children are downstairs right now, running like crazy around their dad. They are healthy. They are rambunctious. And lately, I've gotten terribly annoyed with them. But hearing a story such as the Halls' makes me take a step back and sincerely thank God for every moment that I have to hold the babies He has given to me, and even to chase them around and clean up their messes.
Won't you take time today to do the same? Will you thank God that He has given you this day to love your child or another family member that you often take for granted? And will you join with me in prayer for the Hall family - Randy, Julie, little Taylor, her 3 older siblings, and this baby on the way?
If you are interested in following prayer updates for this family, click here to follow them on facebook.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
My Victory Over Fear
It was September 2011. I was at a ladies' retreat with some church friends and it was getting late. Should we go out by the fire, or just head to bed? God was working already as we headed out to the fire to find several ladies laughing hysterically - we decided to stay and see what was going on.
Wendy, a lady from our church, introduced us to her new friend Tricia, a tiny little lady with a huge sense of humor. I was instantly drawn to her as she talked to us about her pastor-husband, her eight children, and her life in Minnesota. I don't know how we got on the subject of fear, but Tricia began talking to us about how she used to plan routes out of the grocery store in order to avoid an invisible gunman who was after her. Then she said how she used to fret while driving because a deer might come at her and his hoof might go through the windshield and kill her.
My friend Amanda spoke up, "that sounds like something Emi would say!" It was. It was something I had struggled with many times; only with me, the whole deer would come through and behead everyone. Isn't that terrible?? Tricia picked up on it right away, and we began a conversation that changed my life.
I don't know when my fear started - fear of everything, that is. I know I was always afraid of the dark, and of too much quietness, and I always worried that I would be shot or that Jesus would come back in the rapture and leave me here all by myself. It seems as if fear was always present in my life in one way or another. But I do remember when it took over.
I really struggled with it during my pregnancy and the birth of our daughter. I had a couple of weeks of what I would call "postpartum depression", and then the fear just crept up and was more present than ever before. Most days I could go outside, but many of them, I would lock the door to the house so no one could get in and wait for me. One day (and possibly more; I can't quite recall) I locked all the windows and doors, and I stayed inside watching suspiciously because I was sure that my neighbor's grandson was coming to kill us. It sounds crazy, I know. Then there were the nights, those endless nights where I checked the locks several times and just laid in my bed shaking until sleep finally took over the fear. Last summer, David was working a second job that kept him out until midnight, or 2 a.m., or sometimes even until 5:00. I was so incredibly afraid - if I was out anywhere, the kids and I would get home before dark fell and then I would stay up keeping vigil until David got home. My fear was at an all-time high.
As I shared these things with Tricia, she assured me that I was not crazy. That kind of fear is something that happens to "normal" people. And she told me she had been one of them. Then she shared something that I could hardly wrap my mind around. When Tricia was 27, she was up all night keeping vigil as I had done so many times, and at that time God laid so many verses on her heart as she poured out all hear anxieties to Him, she was up for hours just reading His Word. He took all that fear away. ALL of it. And it has never come back!
I wanted so desperately for God to take that fear away, but I wasn't sure where to begin. Tricia shared some verses with me. The one that stuck the most was this. Proverbs 3:25 says, "Do not be afraid of sudden fear nor of the onslaught of the wicked when it comes;" and verse 26 goes on to say, "For the Lord will be your confidence ..." !! It took me a bit to grasp what the verse was saying, but it is clearly saying that I do not need to have guilt for the fear that may come, because fear is to be expected. It is going to show up - the verse says when it comes, not if. But it is what I do with that fear that causes it either to stay and to fester and grow, or to be taken away!
What I am not saying is that God is some sort of genie in a bottle Who just shows up when you need Him and then doesn't "bother" you. What I am saying is that He has power. He has power over Satan and his tactics of fear. He has power in my life and will conquer the fear when it comes. I am so thankful to say that I, too, have experienced a complete change in my life. No longer am I afraid to step outside, or to leave my back door open while we're playing in the yard. No longer do I lay awake at night in fear of a break-in. When I gave my life to Christ as a young child, His Spirit came into me and He dwells in me today. When the fear shows up, I immediately give it over to Him and God gives me "peace that passes understanding" (Phil. 4:7).
What about you? First, have you given your life to Christ and acknowledged that He alone can forgive your sin? Have you trusted that Jesus had you in mind when He died on the cross? That cross, that life of Christ, that power of God . . . that is what has and will always have the victory over Satan, over sin, over fear. I am so thankful for God's great grace and pray that you, too, can experience victory over fear!
For further consideration:
Karen Loritts speaks on fear - this is a broadcast from Family Life Today. I have linked to part one, but you can find part two from here as well.
Victory Over Violence - this is an ebook that was actually written by Tricia, the lady God prompted to speak with me about my fear last fall. She writes this book in a down-to-earth way that makes for a great weekend read. In it you will find many scriptures in addition to those listed below.
Verses to meditate upon:
Phil. 4:6-7 - Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
1 John 4:18 - Perfect love casts out fear . . . (God is love, and love is the opposite of fear!)
John 14:27 - Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.
Wendy, a lady from our church, introduced us to her new friend Tricia, a tiny little lady with a huge sense of humor. I was instantly drawn to her as she talked to us about her pastor-husband, her eight children, and her life in Minnesota. I don't know how we got on the subject of fear, but Tricia began talking to us about how she used to plan routes out of the grocery store in order to avoid an invisible gunman who was after her. Then she said how she used to fret while driving because a deer might come at her and his hoof might go through the windshield and kill her.
My friend Amanda spoke up, "that sounds like something Emi would say!" It was. It was something I had struggled with many times; only with me, the whole deer would come through and behead everyone. Isn't that terrible?? Tricia picked up on it right away, and we began a conversation that changed my life.
I don't know when my fear started - fear of everything, that is. I know I was always afraid of the dark, and of too much quietness, and I always worried that I would be shot or that Jesus would come back in the rapture and leave me here all by myself. It seems as if fear was always present in my life in one way or another. But I do remember when it took over.
I really struggled with it during my pregnancy and the birth of our daughter. I had a couple of weeks of what I would call "postpartum depression", and then the fear just crept up and was more present than ever before. Most days I could go outside, but many of them, I would lock the door to the house so no one could get in and wait for me. One day (and possibly more; I can't quite recall) I locked all the windows and doors, and I stayed inside watching suspiciously because I was sure that my neighbor's grandson was coming to kill us. It sounds crazy, I know. Then there were the nights, those endless nights where I checked the locks several times and just laid in my bed shaking until sleep finally took over the fear. Last summer, David was working a second job that kept him out until midnight, or 2 a.m., or sometimes even until 5:00. I was so incredibly afraid - if I was out anywhere, the kids and I would get home before dark fell and then I would stay up keeping vigil until David got home. My fear was at an all-time high.
As I shared these things with Tricia, she assured me that I was not crazy. That kind of fear is something that happens to "normal" people. And she told me she had been one of them. Then she shared something that I could hardly wrap my mind around. When Tricia was 27, she was up all night keeping vigil as I had done so many times, and at that time God laid so many verses on her heart as she poured out all hear anxieties to Him, she was up for hours just reading His Word. He took all that fear away. ALL of it. And it has never come back!
I wanted so desperately for God to take that fear away, but I wasn't sure where to begin. Tricia shared some verses with me. The one that stuck the most was this. Proverbs 3:25 says, "Do not be afraid of sudden fear nor of the onslaught of the wicked when it comes;" and verse 26 goes on to say, "For the Lord will be your confidence ..." !! It took me a bit to grasp what the verse was saying, but it is clearly saying that I do not need to have guilt for the fear that may come, because fear is to be expected. It is going to show up - the verse says when it comes, not if. But it is what I do with that fear that causes it either to stay and to fester and grow, or to be taken away!
What I am not saying is that God is some sort of genie in a bottle Who just shows up when you need Him and then doesn't "bother" you. What I am saying is that He has power. He has power over Satan and his tactics of fear. He has power in my life and will conquer the fear when it comes. I am so thankful to say that I, too, have experienced a complete change in my life. No longer am I afraid to step outside, or to leave my back door open while we're playing in the yard. No longer do I lay awake at night in fear of a break-in. When I gave my life to Christ as a young child, His Spirit came into me and He dwells in me today. When the fear shows up, I immediately give it over to Him and God gives me "peace that passes understanding" (Phil. 4:7).
What about you? First, have you given your life to Christ and acknowledged that He alone can forgive your sin? Have you trusted that Jesus had you in mind when He died on the cross? That cross, that life of Christ, that power of God . . . that is what has and will always have the victory over Satan, over sin, over fear. I am so thankful for God's great grace and pray that you, too, can experience victory over fear!
For further consideration:
Karen Loritts speaks on fear - this is a broadcast from Family Life Today. I have linked to part one, but you can find part two from here as well.
Victory Over Violence - this is an ebook that was actually written by Tricia, the lady God prompted to speak with me about my fear last fall. She writes this book in a down-to-earth way that makes for a great weekend read. In it you will find many scriptures in addition to those listed below.
Verses to meditate upon:
Phil. 4:6-7 - Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
1 John 4:18 - Perfect love casts out fear . . . (God is love, and love is the opposite of fear!)
John 14:27 - Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Samuel
I know it has been quite some time since I have posted. You see, I have this post in my head that I've been working on for weeks now. I just haven't found the time to write it yet. And now that I have a few minutes to do so, David has the book from which I wanted to quote!
It's okay, though. There will be another day for that. Today is the day before Samuel's 3rd birthday, so I thought I'd take the time to reflect upon that day three years ago when we welcomed our first baby into the world and our life.
I wasn't due until April 10th, 2009, and everyone always says you go late with the first baby. I had no reason to think that the 7th would be the day. I got up and went to work at Star Drug as usual, working a 6-hour day as I had been doing since the end of March. But that day, I knew something was different; I just wasn't sure what that was. Looking back, I do remember the feeling that the baby was going to fall out every time I walked! (Possibly gross part alert here!!) I lost my mucus plug right before lunch, but I asked the girls in the pharmacy and they said that could happen up to two weeks before the baby was born.
I drove over to David's work as I often did over my lunch hour and asked him to get into the car. "Something is happening." I told him. I still didn't believe that it was actually labor, though. He insisted that I call Labor and Delivery and ask them what to do. I don't like doing that kind of thing, and to be honest, I was embarrassed to call and just tell someone that "something was different but I don't know what"! He told them what had happened and the nurse assured him that it could still be a week or two before the baby came. Then she asked to talk to me and told me that I should probably go home and relax.
I certainly wasn't going to waste a good day, though! I think I was in the restroom more than I worked that afternoon - I thought that I was constipated. I have talked to many moms since then who have thought the same thing during labor. I finished working at 2:30, and my friend Amanda had asked me to stay at her house during her kids' naptime, so I went ahead and did that. Thankfully the kids stayed asleep - I would not have been a very good babysitter if they'd needed anything! I laid on the couch for a couple of hours and watched "The Cosby Show" until Amanda's husband Trent came home. I felt terrible by then, and couldn't wait to get home to my bed; unfortunately my demeanor showed that and it appeared as though I just wanted to get away from Trent :-)
At home, I made supper as usual, and then headed for the bed. David was very insistent that we go to the hospital, but I was not about to make a fool of myself and be sent home. After all, I had an OB appointment the next day! We ended up calling the hospital a couple of more times, and both times the nurse said no, she didn't think it was labor, and that I should stay at home. Finally, at about 9:30 the night of the 7th, David coaxed me into the car telling me that we would go to the hospital, get a stool softener, and come home. I reluctantly went along . . . and by the time we got to the hospital, my "constipation pains" were 2 minutes apart.
We found out why the nurse had been so quick to tell me to stay home. She was a very unpleasant lady who clearly did not want to be there. Not only was she just plain unfriendly, she put the band on my tummy and told me that she couldn't find the baby's heartbeat. FYI, that is not something that you tell a mom who's ready to give birth! I told her that she had put the monitor on the wrong side and that I could see the baby's head on the other side. She didn't believe me until David came into the room and told her the same thing, and sure enough, there it was. We were so thankful to learn that she was at the end of her shift and that she was leaving a few minutes later.
Since I had been convinced that I wasn't in labor, I would not allow David to call either of our parents until we were in the hospital. It was 10:15 when we got there, and I was dilated to 6 cm. Dr. Wenzel, who I absolutely adore, just "happened" to be on call that night - thank you, God!! It was one of my main concerns that she would be the one to deliver the baby. At the point where they decided to move me into the delivery room, she was already on her way to deliver another baby of a mom who was on her third child and "goes fast", according to the staff.
They broke my water and the contractions came so strongly, I changed my mind about the whole "natural" birth thing without an epidural, and I begged for one. But it was too late. I was dilated to a 9 and thing were progressing very quickly. Dr. Wenzel flew into the room just as I was pushing, and Samuel was born at 11:35 that night - quite some time before the lady in the next room, for whom Dr. Wenzel had actually come. I was in shock. After all, hadn't I just come in as an obligation to my husband?!
I am in awe as I look back on the experience of our first baby's birth. God showed Himself in control and mighty. All of my fears, all of the unknowns that come with a first baby, were taken care of. As I already mentioned, my own doctor was able to deliver (in fact, she has delivered both of my babies!). I didn't have to have an epidural, as I had so often prayed I wouldn't have to do. I didn't have to go through hours at the hospital or be sent home.
I can't believe it has been three years since Samuel was born - the memories are so clear, as if it only happened last week. I am so thankful for the beautiful son that God has given us. For his great sense of humor, for his tender heart, for his love of learning. I'm thankful that he wants to be just like his daddy, and I pray that he is.
And most of all, I pray that he comes to know Jesus as his Savior at an early age. I never fully understood the love of a parent for a child - the love that God had even as He sent His only Son to die in place of my sins and yours - until I had Samuel. What a gift He gave us!
Happy Easter as we celebrate Christ's resurrection, and Happy 3rd Birthday to my sweet son!
It's okay, though. There will be another day for that. Today is the day before Samuel's 3rd birthday, so I thought I'd take the time to reflect upon that day three years ago when we welcomed our first baby into the world and our life.
I wasn't due until April 10th, 2009, and everyone always says you go late with the first baby. I had no reason to think that the 7th would be the day. I got up and went to work at Star Drug as usual, working a 6-hour day as I had been doing since the end of March. But that day, I knew something was different; I just wasn't sure what that was. Looking back, I do remember the feeling that the baby was going to fall out every time I walked! (Possibly gross part alert here!!) I lost my mucus plug right before lunch, but I asked the girls in the pharmacy and they said that could happen up to two weeks before the baby was born.
I drove over to David's work as I often did over my lunch hour and asked him to get into the car. "Something is happening." I told him. I still didn't believe that it was actually labor, though. He insisted that I call Labor and Delivery and ask them what to do. I don't like doing that kind of thing, and to be honest, I was embarrassed to call and just tell someone that "something was different but I don't know what"! He told them what had happened and the nurse assured him that it could still be a week or two before the baby came. Then she asked to talk to me and told me that I should probably go home and relax.
I certainly wasn't going to waste a good day, though! I think I was in the restroom more than I worked that afternoon - I thought that I was constipated. I have talked to many moms since then who have thought the same thing during labor. I finished working at 2:30, and my friend Amanda had asked me to stay at her house during her kids' naptime, so I went ahead and did that. Thankfully the kids stayed asleep - I would not have been a very good babysitter if they'd needed anything! I laid on the couch for a couple of hours and watched "The Cosby Show" until Amanda's husband Trent came home. I felt terrible by then, and couldn't wait to get home to my bed; unfortunately my demeanor showed that and it appeared as though I just wanted to get away from Trent :-)
At home, I made supper as usual, and then headed for the bed. David was very insistent that we go to the hospital, but I was not about to make a fool of myself and be sent home. After all, I had an OB appointment the next day! We ended up calling the hospital a couple of more times, and both times the nurse said no, she didn't think it was labor, and that I should stay at home. Finally, at about 9:30 the night of the 7th, David coaxed me into the car telling me that we would go to the hospital, get a stool softener, and come home. I reluctantly went along . . . and by the time we got to the hospital, my "constipation pains" were 2 minutes apart.
We found out why the nurse had been so quick to tell me to stay home. She was a very unpleasant lady who clearly did not want to be there. Not only was she just plain unfriendly, she put the band on my tummy and told me that she couldn't find the baby's heartbeat. FYI, that is not something that you tell a mom who's ready to give birth! I told her that she had put the monitor on the wrong side and that I could see the baby's head on the other side. She didn't believe me until David came into the room and told her the same thing, and sure enough, there it was. We were so thankful to learn that she was at the end of her shift and that she was leaving a few minutes later.
Since I had been convinced that I wasn't in labor, I would not allow David to call either of our parents until we were in the hospital. It was 10:15 when we got there, and I was dilated to 6 cm. Dr. Wenzel, who I absolutely adore, just "happened" to be on call that night - thank you, God!! It was one of my main concerns that she would be the one to deliver the baby. At the point where they decided to move me into the delivery room, she was already on her way to deliver another baby of a mom who was on her third child and "goes fast", according to the staff.
They broke my water and the contractions came so strongly, I changed my mind about the whole "natural" birth thing without an epidural, and I begged for one. But it was too late. I was dilated to a 9 and thing were progressing very quickly. Dr. Wenzel flew into the room just as I was pushing, and Samuel was born at 11:35 that night - quite some time before the lady in the next room, for whom Dr. Wenzel had actually come. I was in shock. After all, hadn't I just come in as an obligation to my husband?!
I am in awe as I look back on the experience of our first baby's birth. God showed Himself in control and mighty. All of my fears, all of the unknowns that come with a first baby, were taken care of. As I already mentioned, my own doctor was able to deliver (in fact, she has delivered both of my babies!). I didn't have to have an epidural, as I had so often prayed I wouldn't have to do. I didn't have to go through hours at the hospital or be sent home.
I can't believe it has been three years since Samuel was born - the memories are so clear, as if it only happened last week. I am so thankful for the beautiful son that God has given us. For his great sense of humor, for his tender heart, for his love of learning. I'm thankful that he wants to be just like his daddy, and I pray that he is.
And most of all, I pray that he comes to know Jesus as his Savior at an early age. I never fully understood the love of a parent for a child - the love that God had even as He sent His only Son to die in place of my sins and yours - until I had Samuel. What a gift He gave us!
Happy Easter as we celebrate Christ's resurrection, and Happy 3rd Birthday to my sweet son!
Monday, March 26, 2012
My Body: God's Temple
I post quite a bit about healthy (or at least, healthier) recipes, but have never really given a reason for doing so.
I am sure that many of you who actually read this blog already know that I used to be quite a bit heavier than I am today. Right now, at the age of 27 and having had two children, I am about 40 lighter than I was in high school and my freshman year of college. I know it's not all about weight - it's about balance - but for me, weight certainly has a lot to do with my life in so many ways. It affects the way I view myself, the way others view me, the things that I can do or am willing to do, and so much more.
I have always been "overweight". I can remember getting a report back from our school nurse when I entered junior high that said I was 200 lbs. When I think about that, I can hardly believe I was that size at the age of 13! I struggled with it when I was young - I didn't want to be overweight and unhealthy. But I also didn't ever believe that I could do much about it. I remember crying when I was alone, wanting to be a "normal" size like other people, but I don't think I ever let on how much I was hurting. I just believed I was destined to be that way and nothing I did could change that, so why try?
It wasn't until after my freshman year of college that I saw such a huge need to lose weight and get into shape. This afternoon as I was looking over some writing I did that first year of college, I reflected on the two experiences that changed my life. The first was a one-mile hike up an incline in order to reach a castle in Germany. I wrote about how dreadful that hike was, and how embarrassed I was that the really nice athletic boys that everyone liked had to coach me up that hill. The second memory is similar; it was a few weeks later in Colorado when I was trying to hike up to Hanging Lake with my college singing team. A couple of those same guys were nice enough to lag behind in order to help me get to the top. I was mortified.
That was the beginning of the end. The end of the embarrassment, of having to shop in the Women's section, of having to look like an old lady when I was 19. But it was also just a beginning. I finally realized that it wasn't my genes that condemned me to this life of shame. It was myself.
And something that I didn't even know about then, but have been mulling over lately is that not only is it important to mine and my family's health to be careful about overindulgence and to keep up at least somewhat of an activity level; it is actually pleasing to God.
Consider these passages:
As I am learning more and more of God's desire for us to glorify Him in everything that we do, I am convinced that part of that is in taking care of our physical bodies. I remember hearing a man who was not a believer during his younger years tell of his disdain for his college president, who stood up front telling the students not to drink or smoke. He told these students that they must have control over their bodies and what they put into them, yet the president clearly had no control over the food that he put into his own body as he was at least a hundred pounds overweight. The students listening to him scoffed at his hypocrisy.
So am I opposed to eating some unhealthy foods? Am I saying that I think we should exercise, exercise, all the time? Absolutely not! After all, the key to everything in life is balance. Any one thing - whether that is food, alcohol, exercise, another person - can become an idol when its value is placed above God.
My goal in this post is simply to explain my view of health and our bodies at this point in my life. I adore a good creamy, cheesy dip as much as the next girl. But I also love that God gave us so many delicious fruits, veggies, and grains to enjoy as well! I want my testimony to be that of someone who loves God and who believes that her body is a temple - a vessel to be used for His honor and glory. And from where I stand today, I believe that part of that honor and glory comes when I take care of the vessel that He has given to me.
I am sure that many of you who actually read this blog already know that I used to be quite a bit heavier than I am today. Right now, at the age of 27 and having had two children, I am about 40 lighter than I was in high school and my freshman year of college. I know it's not all about weight - it's about balance - but for me, weight certainly has a lot to do with my life in so many ways. It affects the way I view myself, the way others view me, the things that I can do or am willing to do, and so much more.
I have always been "overweight". I can remember getting a report back from our school nurse when I entered junior high that said I was 200 lbs. When I think about that, I can hardly believe I was that size at the age of 13! I struggled with it when I was young - I didn't want to be overweight and unhealthy. But I also didn't ever believe that I could do much about it. I remember crying when I was alone, wanting to be a "normal" size like other people, but I don't think I ever let on how much I was hurting. I just believed I was destined to be that way and nothing I did could change that, so why try?
It wasn't until after my freshman year of college that I saw such a huge need to lose weight and get into shape. This afternoon as I was looking over some writing I did that first year of college, I reflected on the two experiences that changed my life. The first was a one-mile hike up an incline in order to reach a castle in Germany. I wrote about how dreadful that hike was, and how embarrassed I was that the really nice athletic boys that everyone liked had to coach me up that hill. The second memory is similar; it was a few weeks later in Colorado when I was trying to hike up to Hanging Lake with my college singing team. A couple of those same guys were nice enough to lag behind in order to help me get to the top. I was mortified.
That was the beginning of the end. The end of the embarrassment, of having to shop in the Women's section, of having to look like an old lady when I was 19. But it was also just a beginning. I finally realized that it wasn't my genes that condemned me to this life of shame. It was myself.
And something that I didn't even know about then, but have been mulling over lately is that not only is it important to mine and my family's health to be careful about overindulgence and to keep up at least somewhat of an activity level; it is actually pleasing to God.
Consider these passages:
1 Cor. 6:12 NIV Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me, but I will not be mastered by anything. (And the love of food was definitely something that mastered me)
1 Cor. 6:19-20 ESV Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.Or, as I was just reading last week in 1 Samuel, there is the example of Eli the priest. I have always wondered how his sons turned out to be wicked when Eli was so godly. Then I read it again; Eli was actually reprimanded by God for taking the "choicest meats" from the sacrifice and for overindulging. He was the one who taught his sons to be so selfish in the first place by his example - his sin of gluttony!
As I am learning more and more of God's desire for us to glorify Him in everything that we do, I am convinced that part of that is in taking care of our physical bodies. I remember hearing a man who was not a believer during his younger years tell of his disdain for his college president, who stood up front telling the students not to drink or smoke. He told these students that they must have control over their bodies and what they put into them, yet the president clearly had no control over the food that he put into his own body as he was at least a hundred pounds overweight. The students listening to him scoffed at his hypocrisy.
So am I opposed to eating some unhealthy foods? Am I saying that I think we should exercise, exercise, all the time? Absolutely not! After all, the key to everything in life is balance. Any one thing - whether that is food, alcohol, exercise, another person - can become an idol when its value is placed above God.
My goal in this post is simply to explain my view of health and our bodies at this point in my life. I adore a good creamy, cheesy dip as much as the next girl. But I also love that God gave us so many delicious fruits, veggies, and grains to enjoy as well! I want my testimony to be that of someone who loves God and who believes that her body is a temple - a vessel to be used for His honor and glory. And from where I stand today, I believe that part of that honor and glory comes when I take care of the vessel that He has given to me.
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