While We're Waiting

Do you ever ask God what He's doing?  Or why He's doing it? 

What a roller coaster we have been on lately, all while wondering, "God, what are you doing??"  As most of you probably know, we felt God's leading of our family away from our home of 5 years and back to David's hometown in late September last year.  And boy, has it been a roller coaster of emotions and experiences ever since!

We moved over here December 30 - Rachel's 2-week birthday - and have been living with David's parents ever since.  We've been keeping our eyes open for places to live all along; since our ultimate goal is to move to a family farm, we've also been hoping to rent for cheap or to find a home that we could purchase for very little so we could continue to build a savings.

Last weekend, we made the big decision to go ahead and buy a home, so we contacted or agent and she showed us several places in our price range.  To make a long story short, by Saturday noon we had found a home in town that we loved . . . and we found a rental house in the country that would be well under our budget.

 For the past several days, it has really seemed like all signs were pointing toward us getting the rental.  We started preparing for that particular house, and making plans to paint and move within the next month.  We kind of convinced ourselves that we shouldn't buy the house in town, and that God has had this rental for us all along.  The timing and events were just too perfectly aligned.

Today David got a shocking phone call.  The rental has gone to someone else. 

So, God, what are you up to?  We're just not sure.

I am reminded of a song by John Waller -

While I'm Waiting

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on you, Lord,

And I am hopeful, I'm waiting on you, Lord

Though it is painful, but patiently, I will wait.

I will move ahead bold and confident

I'll be taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting, I will serve you

While I'm waiting, I will worship

While I'm waiting, I will not faint

I'll be running the race even while I wait 

 I'm waiting, I'm waiting on you, Lord

And I am peaceful, I'm waiting on you, Lord

Though it's not easy, but faithfully, I will wait

I will serve you while I'm waiting,

I will worship while I'm waiting on you, Lord

It is easy to feel discouraged, like we had built ourselves up for nothing. My tendency is to sit and stew about why my own plans didn't work out, and worry about whether we'll ever have our own house again.

But instead, we see this as a reminder (and we had forgotten) that God is truly working in His timing.  He will provide how and when He sees fit, just as He always has.

Until then, we will wait, and pray, and just keep running the race!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blessed :-)

I had a really rough start to the morning.  I couldn't get out of bed.  I woke up tired. 

Tried to reschedule a dentist appointment and they told me they were going to charge me more than double what I paid to actually go to the appointment.

 I had planned to get groceries and was ready to walk out the door when I found out the dentist rescheduling was not an option.

 I called a friend to ask her to babysit and could barely get out the words because I was crying so hard.

 And so it went.

 I called David (crying once again, of course . . . that's how I roll these days).  He told me exactly what I didn't want to hear: "It's not that big of a deal.  God is good.  You are blessed."

Are you kidding me??  I wanted to wallow in self-pity all day!

Then I prayed and asked God to help me see things in perspective. 

I got a really good night of sleep last night.  I only woke up tired because, well, it's Monday.

I was forced to go to the dentist instead of rescheduling all the time.  I hadn't been there in three years.  My teeth are sparkly again, and I don't have to worry about going again now for awhile.

It's okay that we didn't get groceries today.  We're going to eat supper with friends tonight anyway, so I don't have to scrounge around to find something to feed my family.

My friend was gracious and told me she'd be over to babysit.  She even came half an hour early so we got time to chat, and she gave me a couple of much-needed hugs. She told me it was okay that I called crying, and even thanked me for trusting her enough to cry to her.  After she left, I realized, she'd folded my laundry.

What's more . . . since I didn't grocery shop today, my house is clean.  My kitchen is shiny and the living room is vacuumed.  The kids have clean sheets on their beds.  I finally arranged the pumpkins on our front steps to display instead of keeping them in a heap inside.  I had time to talk to my mom, to do my Bible study, and to visit with David - and the kids are still sleeping. 

It is a beautiful fall day today.  I am truly blessed.

Happy Monday, everyone!

See ya later, facebook!

I wish I had been more faithful in this blog.  Maybe someday I will be.  But obviously the past couple of months have not been the time for it. 

Things could not have been crazier around here!  We've been so busy chasing around 2 toddlers. David spent a little over a month doing chores for a friend which meant he was gone about 14 hours a day, and we spent a lot of time out on the farm with him enjoying the land and the animals.  We have an exchange student from Serbia living with us who's been here since August.  We are starting to prepare for the addition of our baby in about 2 months or so.

I thought I had it all under control; that I was able to be super mom.  But last week, I found out I'm not.  Not even close.  All of the sudden, all the busyness of life came crashing down around me.  In addition to the things I already listed, David and I are suddenly facing several pretty big decisions regarding our future.  And my small, futile mind could not handle it. 

On Thursday I started feeling really overwhelmed, but I thought I could still live with it and get by.  David called a friend to help out for a couple of hours so I could spend time with him, without the kids, and I really enjoyed riding in the semi while he delivered beans to a local co-op.  I thought maybe things would be okay.

By Friday, though, it was too much.  That was when I realized (and I'm so thankful that I did) that I'm not the super mom I thought I was.  I needed some time off.  I am incredibly grateful to so many - first of all, that God prompted me and gave me the grace and humility to be able to make a phone call to David I never thought I'd have to make.  Then, to my sweet husband David, who made several arrangements throughout the day on Friday so that I could have a weekend off.  I was so relieved that no one laughed, or made any rude remarks, but just said, "I understand", and took the children for the weekend.

I spent all of Saturday relaxing and reading the promises of God through Scripture, and praying that He would make my mind clear and my paths straight.    David suggested I meditate on Psalm 86, which was a huge blessing. 

I was greatly encouraged by Psalm 86:4-5 which says, "Make glad the soul of Your servant, for to You, O Lord, I lift up my soul.  For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, and abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon You." 

I was convicted that it is not my job to try and figure out my future path, or to worry about all the things around me, but rather that I need to focus on each step.  God has promised to be a "lamp unto my feet", which to me is very clear . . . He's not planning to light the whole way, but He will always shine a lamp bright enough that I can see the very next step I must take, each and every moment of every day.

Here is where I come to the explanation of my title.  After much prayer and reflection on the past couple of months, and after talking to David, I have decided that I am going to take a break from facebook.

On Saturday night at our Bible study, I heard a great definition of worry; the speaker said that worry is "assuming a responsibility that God never intended for me to assume".  And that's a lot of what I've been doing. 

Oh, I do so enjoy and appreciate keeping up with so many college friends and people from my hometown via facebook.  And I care so very much about each one.  But I've noticed that a lot of days, things will start off great and I'll get a lot done . . . until I sit down to look at facebook.  I become consumed with others' lives, and before I know it, I've been scrolling through profiles for an hour or two while my children beg me to play with them or while they just watch tv.

My hope is that by taking a break, I will really be able to focus on the things that God has placed before me, such as my children, taking care of my home, and enjoying His creation.  I really want to be able to get things done organizationally, spend more time reading my Bible, take my kids for walks more or to the park, and even taking naps in the last few weeks of this pregnancy.

To all of my friends with whom I communicate often via facebook, please don't think I don't care if you don't hear from me for awhile!  If you would like to share something, I would appreciate a phone call, a text, or an e-mail (though I'm hoping to limit e-mail use as well; I will still probably check at least a few times per week). 

My goal is to be able to use facebook responsibly beginning in November.  Until then, starting tomorrow morning, I'm saying, "See ya later, facebook!"