My Victory Over Fear

It was September 2011.  I was at a ladies' retreat with some church friends and it was getting late.  Should we go out by the fire, or just head to bed?  God was working already as we headed out to the fire to find several ladies laughing hysterically  - we decided to stay and see what was going on.

Wendy, a lady from our church, introduced us to her new friend Tricia, a tiny little lady with a huge sense of humor.  I was instantly drawn to her as she talked to us about her pastor-husband, her eight children, and her life in Minnesota.  I don't know how we got on the subject of fear, but Tricia began talking to us about how she used to plan routes out of the grocery store in order to avoid an invisible gunman who was after her.  Then she said how she used to fret while driving because a deer might come at her and his hoof might go through the windshield and kill her. 

My friend Amanda spoke up, "that sounds like something Emi would say!"  It was.  It was something I had struggled with many times; only with me, the whole deer would come through and behead everyone.  Isn't that terrible??  Tricia picked up on it right away, and we began a conversation that changed my life.

I don't know when my fear started - fear of everything, that is.  I know I was always afraid of the dark, and of too much quietness, and I always worried that I would be shot or that Jesus would come back in the rapture and leave me here all by myself.  It seems as if fear was always present in my life in one way or another.  But I do remember when it took over.

I really struggled with it during my pregnancy and the birth of our daughter.  I had a couple of weeks of what I would call "postpartum depression", and then the fear just crept up and was more present than ever before.  Most days I could go outside, but many of them, I would lock the door to the house so no one could get in and wait for me.  One day (and possibly more; I can't quite recall) I locked all the windows and doors, and I stayed inside watching suspiciously because I was sure that my neighbor's grandson was coming to kill us.  It sounds crazy, I know.  Then there were the nights, those endless nights where I checked the locks several times and just laid in my bed shaking until sleep finally took over the fear.  Last summer, David was working a second job that kept him out until midnight, or 2 a.m., or sometimes even until 5:00.  I was so incredibly afraid - if I was out anywhere, the kids and I would get home before dark fell and then I would stay up keeping vigil until David got home.  My fear was at an all-time high.

As I shared these things with Tricia, she assured me that I was not crazy.  That kind of fear is something that happens to "normal" people.  And she told me she had been one of them.  Then she shared something that I could hardly wrap my mind around.  When Tricia was 27, she was up all night keeping vigil as I had done so many times, and at that time God laid so many verses on her heart as she poured out all hear anxieties to Him, she was up for hours just reading His Word.  He took all that fear away.  ALL of it.  And it has never come back! 

I wanted so desperately for God to take that fear away, but I wasn't sure where to begin.  Tricia shared some verses with me.  The one that stuck the most was this.  Proverbs 3:25 says, "Do not be afraid of sudden fear nor of the onslaught of the wicked when it comes;" and verse 26 goes on to say, "For the Lord will be your confidence ..." !!  It took me a bit to grasp what the verse was saying, but it is clearly saying that I do not need to have guilt for the fear that may come, because fear is to be expected.  It is going to show up - the verse says when it comes, not if.  But it is what I do with that fear that causes it either to stay and to fester and grow, or to be taken away! 

What I am not saying is that God is some sort of genie in a bottle Who just shows up when you need Him and then doesn't "bother" you.  What I am saying is that He has power.  He has power over Satan and his tactics of fear.  He has power in my life and will conquer the fear when it comes.  I am so thankful to say that I, too, have experienced a complete change in my life.  No longer am I afraid to step outside, or to leave my back door open while we're playing in the yard.  No longer do I lay awake at night in fear of a break-in. When I gave my life to Christ as a young child, His Spirit came into me and He dwells in me today.  When the fear shows up, I immediately give it over to Him and God gives me "peace that passes understanding" (Phil. 4:7).

What about you?  First, have you given your life to Christ and acknowledged that He alone can forgive your sin?  Have you trusted that Jesus had you in mind when He died on the cross?  That cross, that life of Christ, that power of God . . . that is what has and will always have the victory over Satan, over sin, over fear.  I am so thankful for God's great grace and pray that you, too, can experience victory over fear! 

For further consideration:
Karen Loritts speaks on fear - this is a broadcast from Family Life Today.  I have linked to part one, but you can find part two from here as well. 

Victory Over Violence - this is an ebook that was actually written by Tricia, the lady God prompted to speak with me about my fear last fall.  She writes this book in a down-to-earth way that makes for a great weekend read.  In it you will find many scriptures in addition to those listed below.

Verses to meditate upon:
Phil. 4:6-7 - Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 1 John 4:18 - Perfect love casts out fear . . . (God is love, and love is the opposite of fear!)

John 14:27 - Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you.  Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.