See ya later, facebook!

I wish I had been more faithful in this blog.  Maybe someday I will be.  But obviously the past couple of months have not been the time for it. 

Things could not have been crazier around here!  We've been so busy chasing around 2 toddlers. David spent a little over a month doing chores for a friend which meant he was gone about 14 hours a day, and we spent a lot of time out on the farm with him enjoying the land and the animals.  We have an exchange student from Serbia living with us who's been here since August.  We are starting to prepare for the addition of our baby in about 2 months or so.

I thought I had it all under control; that I was able to be super mom.  But last week, I found out I'm not.  Not even close.  All of the sudden, all the busyness of life came crashing down around me.  In addition to the things I already listed, David and I are suddenly facing several pretty big decisions regarding our future.  And my small, futile mind could not handle it. 

On Thursday I started feeling really overwhelmed, but I thought I could still live with it and get by.  David called a friend to help out for a couple of hours so I could spend time with him, without the kids, and I really enjoyed riding in the semi while he delivered beans to a local co-op.  I thought maybe things would be okay.

By Friday, though, it was too much.  That was when I realized (and I'm so thankful that I did) that I'm not the super mom I thought I was.  I needed some time off.  I am incredibly grateful to so many - first of all, that God prompted me and gave me the grace and humility to be able to make a phone call to David I never thought I'd have to make.  Then, to my sweet husband David, who made several arrangements throughout the day on Friday so that I could have a weekend off.  I was so relieved that no one laughed, or made any rude remarks, but just said, "I understand", and took the children for the weekend.

I spent all of Saturday relaxing and reading the promises of God through Scripture, and praying that He would make my mind clear and my paths straight.    David suggested I meditate on Psalm 86, which was a huge blessing. 

I was greatly encouraged by Psalm 86:4-5 which says, "Make glad the soul of Your servant, for to You, O Lord, I lift up my soul.  For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, and abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon You." 

I was convicted that it is not my job to try and figure out my future path, or to worry about all the things around me, but rather that I need to focus on each step.  God has promised to be a "lamp unto my feet", which to me is very clear . . . He's not planning to light the whole way, but He will always shine a lamp bright enough that I can see the very next step I must take, each and every moment of every day.

Here is where I come to the explanation of my title.  After much prayer and reflection on the past couple of months, and after talking to David, I have decided that I am going to take a break from facebook.

On Saturday night at our Bible study, I heard a great definition of worry; the speaker said that worry is "assuming a responsibility that God never intended for me to assume".  And that's a lot of what I've been doing. 

Oh, I do so enjoy and appreciate keeping up with so many college friends and people from my hometown via facebook.  And I care so very much about each one.  But I've noticed that a lot of days, things will start off great and I'll get a lot done . . . until I sit down to look at facebook.  I become consumed with others' lives, and before I know it, I've been scrolling through profiles for an hour or two while my children beg me to play with them or while they just watch tv.

My hope is that by taking a break, I will really be able to focus on the things that God has placed before me, such as my children, taking care of my home, and enjoying His creation.  I really want to be able to get things done organizationally, spend more time reading my Bible, take my kids for walks more or to the park, and even taking naps in the last few weeks of this pregnancy.

To all of my friends with whom I communicate often via facebook, please don't think I don't care if you don't hear from me for awhile!  If you would like to share something, I would appreciate a phone call, a text, or an e-mail (though I'm hoping to limit e-mail use as well; I will still probably check at least a few times per week). 

My goal is to be able to use facebook responsibly beginning in November.  Until then, starting tomorrow morning, I'm saying, "See ya later, facebook!"